The Sneaky Reason You Never Feel “Good Enough” After You Improve
You hit the goal, showed up, did the thing… and your brain still says “not enough.” That’s not failure — it’s standard/hedonic adaptation. Here’s what it is, how it feeds perfectionism, and how to actually let progress count.
You know that feeling when you finally do the thing — publish, give the presentation, stick to the routine, hit the number — and instead of feeling proud, your brain goes:
“Okay, cute. Now do it better.”
It’s annoying, but it’s also extremely human.
What’s happening there isn’t that you “can’t celebrate yourself” or that you’re “never satisfied.” A big part of it is something psychologists call adaptation — your brain quietly adjusting what “normal” is the minute you reach it.
Let’s name it, because once you can see it, you don’t have to believe it.
What’s actually going on?
Your brain loves efficiency. Once you’ve done something a few times, it files it under: “We can do that.” Which is great — that’s how habits form.
But… it also does this:
You hit a new level.
Your brain says, “Oh, this is who we are now.”
That level stops feeling special.
Your brain moves the target.
That’s standard adaptation (or hedonic adaptation when we talk about happiness): the tendency to get used to something good and stop registering it as progress.
So it’s not that you’re not improving — it’s that your system keeps changing the definition of “good enough.”
How this feeds perfectionism
Perfectionism loves moving targets.
“You showed up once” → now you “should” show up consistently.
“You showed up consistently” → now it “should” be higher quality.
“You made it higher quality” → now it “should” be faster / more polished / more visible.
“You got clients” → now they “should” be bigger / more aligned / more frequent.
At no point does the brain go: “We did it. We’re allowed to feel good.”
So you stay in a permanent state of chasing — which is exhausting, and often what makes people stop. Not because they aren’t capable, but because they never get to feel the win.
Signs this is happening
You tick off goals but don’t feel successful.
You say “I just need to...” a lot (…get more people in, …make it prettier, …tighten it up).
You keep raising your standards without celebrating the last version.
You look back at old work kindly but can’t appreciate current work.
You tell yourself “I’ll celebrate when ___,” but when you get there, you move the line.
If you’re nodding — nothing’s wrong with you. Your awareness just grew faster than your self-recognition.
What to do about it (4 gentle shifts)
1. Lock in the win before you level up
After you do something stretchy — post, teach, send, move, finish — pause for 30 seconds and name it:
“This was hard for me and I did it.”
“Past-me wanted this.”
“This counts.”
Literally say “this counts.” You’re teaching your brain to register success before it upgrades the standard.
2. Track progress, not perfection
Adaptation is sneaky because it hides growth over time. So make it visible.
Options:
a “done” list (what you completed each day/week),
a “brave things I did” note,
monthly review: “new things I can do now that I couldn’t 3 months ago.”
When you can see the line, it’s harder for your brain to say “you’re not moving.”
3. Compare down, not just up
We’re very good at “upward comparison” — looking at people ahead of us. That’s useful sometimes, but it also keeps you feeling behind.
Try “backward comparison”:
“What would 2023 me think of this?”
“What did I used to find scary that is normal now?”
“What do I do on autopilot that used to take so much energy?”
That’s how you experience your own growth.
4. Keep standards and keep softness
You don’t have to drop your ambition to feel good. You just don’t let progress be invisible.
Try holding both:
“I’m proud of this version.”
“Next round I’ll refine ___.”
Proud now, improve later.
Why this matters at the end of the year
This is the time people start doing reviews and planning for the new year — and it’s also the time this sneaky pattern peaks. You look at what you didn’t do, not what you did. You set bigger goals without acknowledging the inner work, healing, and capacity-building you already did this year.
If you don’t name it now, you’ll create 2026 goals from a place of “I’m behind,” not “I’m growing.”
You’re not bad at progress. Your brain is just very good at moving the goalposts.
So: lock in the wins, make growth visible, and let “this counts” be part of the practice — not the reward you only give yourself at the end.
