You Don’t Need to Burn Out to Earn Rest
I didn’t realise I was running on empty — because in my mind, I hadn’t earned rest.
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio
I wasn’t “doing enough” to be tired. I wasn’t working hard enough, achieving enough, keeping up enough. So when exhaustion crept in — as it often did — I assumed the problem was me. That I just needed to push harder. Do more. Catch up.
I’d look around and see people juggling more, doing more, thriving on the kind of hustle that left me barely functioning. So I tried to keep pace. I tried to meet the same standard. And when my system crashed — again — I didn’t call it burnout. I just called it “not trying hard enough.”
Looking back now, I can see that I wasn’t lazy or broken.
I was dysregulated. And I didn’t need more motivation — I needed rest.
Rest Is Not a Reward
Culturally, we’re taught that rest is something you earn. That it only counts if it comes after accomplishment, productivity, perfection.
You don’t hear many people say “I rested today — just because I needed to.”
We wait until the crash. The meltdown. The fog. The freeze.
But by then, rest isn’t restorative — it’s survival.
When we start to understand how our nervous system works, something shifts.
We stop asking, “Have I done enough to deserve rest?”
And we start asking, “What do I need to feel safe, grounded, and whole?”
You Are Allowed to Soften
You’re allowed to take a deep breath — even when the to-do list isn’t done.
You’re allowed to slow down — even when the world keeps spinning.
You’re allowed to honour your body, your mind, your cycles — before they scream for help.
Softness is not weakness.
Rest is not laziness.
You don’t have to burn out to prove you’re trying.
But What If Rest Feels Uncomfortable?
Even when we want to rest, actually doing it can feel… unfamiliar. Unsettling.
You might notice thoughts like:
“I should be doing something.”
“I haven’t earned this.”
“I’ll fall behind.”
“This is a waste of time.”
Those thoughts are not a sign that rest is wrong.
They’re a sign your nervous system has been stuck in survival mode for too long. And survival mode doesn’t understand stillness — it only knows how to push.
The good news is: rest is something you can relearn.
Here are 3 ways to begin:
1. Start smaller than you think
Try 3 minutes of intentional stillness.
A moment of quiet. A single deep breath with your hand on your heart.
Let that be enough.
2. Pair rest with safety cues
Use grounding techniques — soft lighting, warm tea, slow exhale breaths, or calming music.
Signal to your body: it’s okay to slow down.
3. Name it and honour it
Instead of “doing nothing,” try saying:
I’m choosing rest. I’m listening to what I need. I’m regulating, not avoiding.
You Don’t Need to Earn a Reset
If you’re tired, that’s reason enough.
If you feel scattered, anxious, heavy, or numb — that’s reason enough.
You don’t need to wait until you’re in crisis to care for yourself.
And you don’t have to figure it out alone.
If you’ve been feeling the quiet hum of overwhelm, or like your nervous system is always one step from the edge, The Soft Reset was made for you.
It’s a live nervous system workshop for the overthinkers, over-doers, and silently struggling.
And it’s your invitation to return to yourself — gently.
You can also explore our free Mindful Moments Challenge, with easy, accessible tools to regulate in under 5 minutes. Because it’s the small moments of rest that change everything.
