It’s Only in Your Head: My Journey out of Repetitive Negative Thinking
It was just another evening—good food, a few drinks, and laughter with my family. Nothing particularly significant on the surface. But sometimes, transformation begins in the most unexpected ways.
As we sat around chatting, the topic of blood types came up. My now brother-in-law made a lighthearted comment:
“I’ll always remember Tamryn’s blood type.
It’s B(E) NEGATIVE.”
Everyone laughed. Including me. But deep down, it hit differently.
Did people really see me that way?
More importantly… was it true?
The Realisation That Sparked a Shift
For much of my life, I considered myself a realist. Life was hard—why pretend otherwise? I didn’t realise how deeply I’d internalised this mindset. Negativity had become my lens, silently shaping my interactions, reactions, and relationship with myself.
That joke—though lighthearted—stirred something in me. It was the first time I really questioned:
Do I want to be defined by this mindset?
That moment became a pivot point. I didn't have a plan or a process yet, but a seed had been planted. I started to consider if I had the power to reframe my identity—not through toxic positivity, but through curious, compassionate awareness.
My Experience: From Breakdown to Breakthrough
By 2019, I couldn’t keep going the way I was. The constant internal chatter had left me exhausted. I was regularly overwhelmed, anxious, and shutting down over small things. That’s when I took the leap into change.
But the beginning was rough.
I judged my negative thoughts harshly.
I tried to “positive-think” my way out, only to crash again.
I felt ashamed whenever I wasn’t happy—like I was doing healing wrong.
I was learning the hard way: healing isn’t linear, and often times it feels like we’re getting nowhere.
Understanding Repetitive Negative Thinking (RNT)
What I was experiencing has a name: Repetitive Negative Thinking (RNT).
It’s when the mind gets stuck in loops of self-critical, pessimistic, or anxious thoughts. You replay situations. You predict worst-case outcomes. You dwell. You spiral.
RNT is strongly linked to anxiety, depression, and chronic stress. It’s not a personal failing—it’s how the human brain tries (often unsuccessfully) to gain control or prepare for pain. Neurologically, it involves the default mode network, which becomes hyperactive when the brain isn’t engaged in a task. The amygdala (your brain’s fear center) also becomes overstimulated, keeping the nervous system in a heightened state of fight of flight.
This might sound intense, but here’s the hopeful part:
You can retrain your mind.
And you can reset your nervous system.
The Tools That Genuinely Helped Me
It took time—2 to 3 years before I could see the shifts. But they were happening. Compounding over time. Here’s what helped:
🔸 Becoming the Watcher
I began observing my thoughts without judgment. I practiced witnessing the chatter instead of identifying with it. This created just enough distance to respond, not react.
🔸 Gently Correcting Negative Thoughts
Instead of fighting my thoughts, I began gently guiding them.
When I’d think: “I always mess things up,”
I’d replace it with: “I’m still learning, and that’s okay.”
The shift wasn’t instant—but it was kind.
🔸 Allowing the Lows
I stopped expecting myself to be happy all the time. Instead, I measured growth by how quickly I could come back to center, not how long I stayed there.
🔸 Gratitude Journaling
This became a consistent weekly ritual. It’s wasn’t about pretending life was perfect, but about training the mind to notice moments of beauty, progress, or peace—however small.
Why Mindfulness Was a Game Changer
Mindfulness gave me something I didn’t realise I could have:
Space to pause.
Space between my thoughts and my identity.
Whether it was a 5-minute breathing exercise at my desk, a guided meditation before bed, or simply noticing the trees on a walk—each mindful moment became a building block in my healing.
Mindfulness isn’t about “fixing” yourself.
It’s about coming home to yourself, gently and consistently.
An Invitation: Join Me for a free Mindfulness Challenge
If any part of my story resonates with you—if you’ve felt overwhelmed by your own thoughts, unsure how to shift out of the spiral—know this:
You’re not broken. And you don’t have to do this alone.
I’ve created a gentle 4-week Mindfulness Challenge to help you reconnect with your breath, your body, and your awareness—one step at a time. Begin anytime - it’s free, flexible and designed to support you through life’s messier seasons.
🧘♀️ Short daily practices
✍️ Simple journal prompts
🎧 Guided meditations
❤️ Support and inspiration throughout
Whether you’re just starting your journey or need a refresh, this challenge is designed to meet you where you are.
